93. Sol in Taurus-Luna in Cancer.
The are very few people on earth like me and this is something I just have to realize. Here I lay in bed, typing on an iPad mini just as happy as I have ever been. I really believe that my blogging and writing career are really about to take off. I am also working a lot, and my failed relationship is now budding into something that could be potentially much more amazing then it ever was before. I just have to remember that at times when I feel like I’m at the height of my happiness, there are going to be times when I feel the complete opposite. I have to remember that ‘this too shall pass’ and that one day, even I shall pass. Everything I am and will be shall fade into oblivion, retained only by those who have absorbed some part of my wisdom, and by those that shall consume the atoms and nutrients once carried within my flesh.
There are people on earth who are not very inclined to see what I see. There are people who will never feel god within them, yet who are devout to a god that they couldn’t without a doubt say exist. I cannot be a slave to something that I know is not true, or that I know cannot be proven. There is no god but man.
There are those that look at me with judgmental eyes for the tattoos upon my skin, the words that drip from my mouth or the knowledge stored inside my head. I pity those men! Both theyre gods and their men are fools! As I write, I can feel a connection to Nuit, Hadit, Ra Hoor Khuit. I feel the presence of the divine in every keystroke. I feel divinity in every breath. I am on the right track. I am my true will.
If one is familiar with Thelemic scripture, you will find that it runs rampant throughout many of my writings. When these are writings are like such, they go unquoted. Not because I don’t want to give recognition where its due, but because I feel that these words are my own, and they are the words of every other. We are all connected to the exact same divinity that every culture speaks about. This divinity is even in atheism, for every man and every woman, despite their beliefs, is divine. Stars. I have had many questions asked about that single quote from Liber AL “Every man and every woman is a star.” One particular question asked more then others, in generalized form, is “so you believe that a rapist, a child molester, a homeless person, a saint are all ‘stars’?” To this my reply slowly evolved. I believe that every man and every woman IS a star indeed, yet some shine a little more brightly then others. Its really not anyones fault that they haven’t found their true will yet, or even if they have that they veer- we are all capable of making decisions and choices and living and loving and hating and killing just like any other person. What makes a person sway? While there are many reasons, and the abundance of stars and wills is a huge reason. There are simply too many people on the planet. Think about space when there are a milling particles and asteroids- they are bound to collide at some point.
My mind must be quiet now. Everyday I awaken with fire, and by bedtime it is just hot coals smoldering in pit. Sleep, dreams, thoughts- the fuel, the wood, the kerosene. Enjoy the ramble, and enjoy life.