L.V.X VITAE

93!

Category: Mysticism

Omega Institute for Holistic Studies

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nbsp;                Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

     Greetings and 93!
     I have felt very uneasy about posting anything about my experience until now. I am officially on staff at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies in Rhinebeck, NY. I am working in the Cafe as a cook, and I am a member of the Peace Guild, which will be starting June 4th. The time here so far has been quite interesting, yet because it is so interesting I have had a hard time coming to terms with actually posting anything about it. It has been said that this place has a certain energy, and those that say this are correct. This energy is magickal and beautiful, and I wanted to make sure that by writing something about the experiences that it wouldn’t taint them, or destroy their occult nature in some way.
     The fashion of learning comes in many ways. Mostly classes and discussions have been the core of my learning, but work provides many opportunities as well. My first look into what Omega was all about was a Shamanic Journey into the abyss of the subtle energy fields of our minds and what surrounds us physically. Shamanism is much about nature and its teaching, and it allows us to experience nature in our minds. It allows us to more fully explore our divinity through communication with divinity, or the Source. This Source I speak of can be modified for those of any spiritual path or religion. I expect most of those who are reading this blog to be fairly involved and decided in what pantheon and paradigm you choose to operate in.
     The Shaman decided that he would begin to drum, and we would enter our reveries and begin to enter the Astral Realm. This realm is of the mind- it does not exist in space as we know it, yet it seems to overlay that space, having only minor properties of the ‘original’ reality, or that reality which we operate in day to day life. I began to drift upward, and I found myself in a large field, and in the middle of the field was a giant tree. I immediately felt a connection to this tree. I found myself in love with this tree, in pure awe and appreciation of its existence. I then realized that I actually was the tree. I felt the energy fields of my body begin to radiate around me, and I felt my existence and physical form grow to encompass the large branches and leaves, as well as the inexplicable root system below. The roots below me began pulsing with energy, consuming raw matter and converting it to a format easy for my soul to digest. I was filled with this divine light of energy plant food- I was high as fuck to be honest. This kind of energy has a way of lifting you so high that when you are let back down, all you want to do is ascend again and again, higher and higher.
     The drumming did stop. The Shaman informed us that he had been drumming for 8 minutes, yet it felt like only a second that I was able to fully realized the energy structure of my tree being-ness. This one second of full realization was all I needed to be sold on the ways of riding the drum- a term used in shamanism to understand the feeling of ascending with a beat, almost about or on the beat. He began again, this time with the intention of finding an animal, or an animal spirit to cling to. This was our chance to find an animal that we could speak with and be with and love, and it could also serve as a message to us in real life. This means that if our spirit animal is a hummingbird, that we might feel an even greater connection with a hummingbird in the physical world. It might show us the way or even remind us to look inward as well as outward for answers, and whenever you see the hummingbird images are instantly conjured of your shamanic journeys, and it should ground, center, and inspire you. Therefore, finding a spirit animal is important work beginning in shamanism.
     The reverie was much easier to assume this time, as the energy I had felt within the Astral was still pulsing through me. I entered the same sort of area that I was at in the first reverie, yet it was much darker this time. Not necessarily in light, but in the feel of the world, and the beings that inhabited it. This was a world that was full of powerful beings and it was demanding respect from every entity within it. I could almost feel the presence of other human consciousnesses within the sphere, once again feeling that the space exist as an overlap of our mortal coil. I began to move through the area, controlling my surroundings by pushing my own consciousness further into the Astral Realm. Visions began to take over, and I saw my own physical body erupting with snakes, becoming snakes. As my fingers and forearms began to turn to the heads of a purple black serpent, they helixed up my arms and onto my shoulders, and then again in this cyclical nature down my spine. As their heads hit this bottom area of my chakras, they bursted forth in two white hot beams of light, again spiraling up my spine, once again turning into the serpents head, only it was almost as large as my own, dominating most of my body, and it poked its head through the top of mine, and I, my consciousness as the serpent, spiraled into light, nothingness, and the macrocosm as energy together. I had pierced into something, and I couldn’t really contain my enthusiasm. I was completely blissed out, in divine trance. This wasn’t exactly what I was expecting to come from such a simple journey, but not only had I found my spirit animal, but it itself had empowered me with its blessing, its properties and energy. I really felt compelled to perform ritual magick, and so when this journey ended, I politely excused myself from the class. I needed to ride the waves, and I performed Liber Resh and Star Ruby on repeat, followed by some vibrations of god names and mantra. Breath was controlled at all times. I’m not sure whether to share such information here or not…
This was a beautiful journey, and I am truly thankful for being in a place that has allowed me to take such journeys, but this was only the story of one. I have had many experiences since then, and I shall save them for another time.

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Tree of Life Spread

 

 

Vision of the Veil – An Essay on Personal Future-Potential

I have a feeling that one day I will know the truth and that all things, even shadow shall become apparent.

This is a sacred and beautiful thing to behold. Every time that I have a vision or I enter a trance, it becomes deeper and more intense. The enigmatic and spontaneous whirlwind that encompasses my spirit becomes less tame, and incredibly more tangible. I feel as if I wrested into mental action my archetypal ideas within my being being formally laid out and unveiled within my frame of reason and current personal paradigm.

Theses visions are true, and they are the mystery that cannot me solved unless thyself is solvent… Forever permeating the quantum interspace between all matter that was once, is, and shall become energy simultaneously.

The prescient, the hollow sight of the coming bliss of action and contraction, retention and pervasiveness.

Has one felt the true beauty of god, that is the transmutation of your human being into being? This is pure being; being-ness.This is the truth and the form-potential. As one we can be all, 0=1, and this is the knowledge we must absolutely lose ourselves within.

Magickal ‘School Shopping’

I am not afraid to admit to the fact that I love paper. I love books. I love office supplies. I like anything to do with any of this stuff, and I've even been caught sniffing the pages of new books and decks of tarot cards. This being said, I will admit to the fact that my favorite part of school was the school shopping that one did yearly before the term started so that you would have what you needed to succeed. In the beginning, this is an extremely fun endeavor- picking our different colored sharpies and gel pens, markers, crayons, scissors, and then even protractors and compasses- all of this to be held by the popular pencil pouch. Then all of this fancy smanshy stuff drops off and the excitement ends as you realize you only begin to need pens/pencils, and notepaper. The end. Although, once you get to college you need a computer or a tablet with a keyboard, but thats besides the point. What I'm getting at is that when you begin your magickal career, you get to do a bit of shopping in order to have the things that you need to succeed.

 

Use this as a sort of Howarts School Letter, a list of necessary supplies if you will. As cute and fluffed as this may be at this point, I want to definiatly express how dire these supplies are, and I also want to stress the fact that this isn't something one can take lightly. If you are beginning a magickal career, you must take it seriously. Sure, have fun, but at the same time, focus.

 

 

NUMBER ONE: THE MAGICKAL DIARY

My personal guru, Ms. Lorie Parker is a folk witch. She personally initiated me as a child into a young adult- as much as this was a symbol of my birth into the left handed arts, it was also a coming of age ritual that I now see as very necessary to my childhood, and thus who I am today. Lorie was always extremely proud of my writing ablitity, and always encouraged me to journal and write as much as possible. This being said, It was an easy task to record every single bit of my magickal workings when I began explouring Thelema, and it was no surprise that, in synchorcity with my own guru, the universal and Master Therion, Aleister Crowley also avidly encouraged the use of a diary, or journal. He termed this the Magickal Diary, or the 'Magickal Record'. He valued this item- the record itself, and the process so important that he wrote an entire volume on the subject.

 

Thus, obtaining a book that you can use as a record is very important. In my opinion, there are two styles, or approaches that you could go with when selecting this volume, and it may have a lot to do with how you are going to use the volume. The first approach is the vanity approach. This would be selecting a 'tome', or a large black leather book that had “BOOK OF SPELLS” written all over it. In essence, selecting a volume that you know will elicit certain feelings of power for the words written inside. This sort of book is best for the detailed journaler. This person will record all spells and rituals that they practice, with hand drawn diagrams, and color coded tabs on the sides. I use this approace. This way, I have in a way written a grimoire for my children and their children- something to be passed down that has the power because of its look, and how I have taken my time to expand upon it.



The second approach would be the shorthand journaler. Someone who may make list of feelings, or write out an experience at certain time intervals, detailing the happenings at the regularity of those intervals. Instead of writing what has already been written, they might just say “Ritual on Page 15 in So and So Book” and then in that book hightlight the necessary part. This type of person/journaler/magician will most likely select a simple notebook, or lined journal. I am not setting any of this in stone by the way, neither is any of this taken from Crowley. These are ideas that you can feel free to use as they are mine and I am sharing them with you.




Myself, I am of the first approach, and I like to use graph paper to write on, because if I am going to add a drawing, it helps me think outside the lines a bit more then straight lined ruled paper. I have many many journals filled mind you- and I have used all different kinds. I seem to do best with slim, low page count notebooks with a sewn binding and graph ruled paper, that is usually of a stained color. In my case, a moleskin cashiers book works extremely well. http://www.moleskine.com

In reality, the type of notebook doesn't matter (you could in theory have a completely digital magickal journal, if it is your Will to do so) so go find yourself whatever journal you see fit. Just make sure it is something that you will enjoy writing in, because you will be recording your daily waking life for some time, or until the journal is filled and you are much more likely to sit and write if its an enjoyable experience. So think about that when you are purchasing your notebook as well. It's much easier to write on a surface that lies flat, so keep that in mind when selecting a notebook with a sewn binding.

NUMBER TWO: THE WRITING UTENSIL (and TABS and STICKY NOTES)

Now, as I already stated, I was already an avid journaler, and I do most of my writing, surprisingly, by hand. This makes, along with smooth-yet-absorbant paper, a nice pen indispensible. The pen is obviously ever important because there are days when you may have a vision or a dream, and you want to write for 10 or more pages. If using a writing utensil that you don't like or that makes it difficult to write, you may not write as much, or record all the details. I've been in the middle of some amazing passages, and my hand began to cramp so badly that I just couldn't go on.

The best pen that I have ever owned in my entire life, is my Vista Lamy Safari Demonstrator Pen with a refillable ink cartridge insert. The pen was made of extremely high quality clear plastic, and had a chrome wire sap clip and nib. The clear walls of the pen casing mad the inkwell visible, helping to keep track of ink levels and make sure one wouldn't run out and the worst of times. This is very important for me, because writing so much often led to me running out of ink at the worst of times. The refillable insert was about $4.00 and was worth a lot more then that because it made it possible to refill with any kind of ink- you didn't need to purchase cartridges. I will warn you though that I originally tried using calligraphy ink, which did not work. It wasn't opaque enough. I switched to India ink, and the color was vibrant. I purchased the ink at a local craft store, Higgins Brand. The Lamy fountain pens are amazing, but will run you about $22.00 for one pen. I lost mine, and I think, now that I am writing this, that I may go purchase another. It will last forever as long as it isn't lost, and that pays for itself when you figure in the cost of higher end disposable pens, like the ever popular Pilot G-2, another favorite of mine. If you can find fountain pens, use them. The next best brand I have found was the Pilot Varsity. I purchased an entire box of them once, for about $35.00 for 12 pens, I loved them so much.

I have run into many enthusiast of journaling who do recommend using pen, but going with the graphite alternative. The reason for this is because pencil last longer and does not fade, and isn't as easily effected by acidic paper, or water damage. You should do whatever is going to make you write more, but I like the look and feel of pen, and I find it much easier to produce lengthy segments and passages using ink over lead.

 
Take for instance the picture above.

NUMBER THREE: THE TAROT DECK

The next piece of equipment would be a tarot deck. I, of course, recommend the Thoth tarot deck. (the link to amazon will be inserted later). Select the standard size, and if you have the funds, go ahead and pick up the large size copy as well. In my workshops and teachings, I have found that the smaller size works well for daily readings and for travel, but the large size is necessary to capture all the details of a card, and I use it often for meditation and study. I have also been known to use my smaller deck as a kind of note card- get a fine point sharpie and use it to write directly on the cards- record their hebrew letter meanings and any other relevant information. Some take a very different route and cut the boarders off of their cards so that they can't rely on the keyboards- they have to look at the picture and draw from memory in order to read the deck.Books to purchase as a beginner would be a book about the Thoth tarot, a book about qabalah in its hermetic form, and a book featuring the standard rituals which you should start performing and memorizing daily.

 

Back to the Grind

93!
I will admit that I haven’t been as active as I should have been. The magickal community is growing and I feel like I have let you all down a little bit. Not for the reason that I have some great knowledge that only I can indulge the world in- I don’t. I feel this way because I am a 24 year old magician who takes the title seriously. I know that many people my age would benefit from a daily magickal practice, yet they are unaware of the methods, or they are freightened by the terms.
If you are a person like that- someone who cringes at the mention of Satan, steers clear of homosexuals, and is morally obligated to attach a Jesus fish to your car, then magick probably isn’t for you. Not that you wouldn’t benefit from it, because you probably would, even more so then the average person, but because there are certain parts of the ego that are destroyed through the use of magick. Christianty adds to this ego that is to be eradicated immensly, and is therefore something that should usually be out of the way by the time you begin your magickal career. This isn’t always true though. I am merely saying that most of the time a Christian finds it very hard to tackle some of the ideals that you must in order to incorporate Thelema into your daily functioning life. I think the reason for this isn’t because Thelema is more damanding- I believe that Christianity puts shackles on you psychologically- and these are the shackles that Thelema is trying to remove. To sum everything up quickly, I just think its counter productive. So, if you are in deed a Christian, set those ideals aside for just one moment and peer into another paradigm. God isn’t going to be mad at you for taking a gander into another way of thinking- who knows, you may be rewarded for being curios.
Recently I started a job as a telemarketer. At the time I accepted the job I was making sandwiches at a restraunt in Downtown Saint Petersburg, Florida. A very small shop that served german and Eastern European food run by two Afghani Germans and one of their managers was later featured on the popular facebook page “Douchebags of Pinellas County”. I was used to doing the whole kitching thing, and I was always coming in early or staying late or travelling around the counties to take the food truck to gain exposure for the restraunt. I just wasn’t making enough money no matter how long or hard I worked. There were a few Friday nights where I walked out with about $100 just in tips- but that wasn’t the norm. I generally left with enough money in my pocket to grab something from the local downtown style diner thats open til 3 AM. A place called Angies Cafe. They serve gross, yet delicious, drunk food. If you have ever been wasted and hungry, then you can understand this clash of words. Something can be disgusting, like dripping greese and cheese and with a huge bun- and even though that parts gross, it just taste so fucking good. So you eat it, and wala, you have gross, yet delicious drunk food. After I paid for my usual- the gyro with no lettuce, a small fry and a Mountain Dew, I headed home in a taxi, giving him the last bit of my tip money for the night. It was worth it though. Most Fridays I went in at about 9:30 AM, and then left about 3PM. I would walk 18 blocks home, take a nap, and then head back to work at 6PM to 3AM. The shit was nuts for no money, so I said no more. Zachary Mauer, one of my longest lasting best friends in the world, came to the rescue with a recommendation for a job called Quality Resources, Incorporated.
Quality Resources is a telemarketing company, yet when you call the number (727-669-2242) you are greeted by a message that says QRI is “A leader in direct customer aquisitions”. This pretty much means they make people become their customers. They make people try things out. In this case, we are talking about savings programs that are sold through their incentives to try the savings programs. As a fronter for the company, I pitched a program called “Budget Savers”, which can be accessed at budgetsaversonline.com. The person pitched is not at random either- they are a purchased and then randomly generated lead. There are certain filters which can be placed upon the database in which the leads sit, so that only certain calls can come through- such as making it to where no california or washinton state leads are called until later in the shift. These leads are purchased from companies that market and sell ‘As Seen on T.V.’ products. These are gadgets, gizmos, and toys that posit themselves against your willpower, testing your impulsivity, and I would go as far to mention even your stupidity. One product imparticular catches my attention- The tummy tuck system. This is a kit that comes with a tube of goo. My friends Ray, and the aformentioned Zach Mauer, both of whom are employed by QRI speculate that its nothing more then a mentholated goo- icy hot. You rub the goo onto the fattest parts of your stomach, and then slide a girlde onto yourself- the tummy tuck belt. You wear this for 8 minutes. Then you take it off, and it supposedly continues to work the entire rest of the day. It doesnt. It is fucking nuts that anyone would buy that bullshit. I fully understand wanting to lose weight, and wanting to do anythignin ofder to do it, but seriously… the tummy tuck system is a scam. Anyways- the company that sold you that piece of shit belt with a tube of icy hot for 50 dollars also makes money off of you by selling your name, address, telephone number, age, gender, credit card type, and sometimes even all of the credit card numbers.That is where QRI comes in. They buy your information, and then call you.
The pitch begins by drawing the customer deep within the phone call by telling the customer we are from the company that they just purchased from, and that we want to thank them and verify their address. So, built into the script on the computer screen before every singly one of the agents, is the customers information to be read off to them. Once they say yes, you tell them that it will arrive shortly. This is hilarious because most people have either already gotten their stuff, or they want to know what day its coming, or they want to know how. We have no idea, in fact even if the address we read to them is incorrect and we pretend to change it- and yes, we do pretend to ‘make notes of things’, we dont actually change things on the products end of things- they may never recieve what they wanted in the first place.So then we explain that to thank them for being a customer, we are going to send them 100 dollars in gasoline vouchers in the mail, for just one dollar, for trying the first 14 days of a program called Budget Savers. Every agents screen, below the main script, has small clickable bullet points of the most common customer objections. You are allowed to ‘rebuttal’ people twice per call, although some states don’t allow that so you must limit how aggressive you are on the line with cutomers from these states.
When I accepted this job, I thought it was going to be great. I got to dress up everyday, I would be making double the money (I actually am still making double what I was making), do something I had never done before, and work with my friends. After just a few short days of the job, the reality of telemarketing set in. I started to have moral dilemmas about what I was doing- What happened if I called my grandmother and talked her into this? She would be getting scammed! She doesn’t watch her bank account well enough to know that these programs are being automatically deducted from her account! Not because she doesn’t want to, but because she is older and senile and just doesn’t have it in her to be an online banking whiz! I get sent home if my numbers aren’t the best, therefore I lose a lot of my hourly pay. I’m not making the amount of money I thought I would be and I am also not as happy as I should be. So there it is. If I’m not happy, this simply isn’t the job for me. I need to find something else.
In my brainstorms, I have come to the conclusion that the only way I am going to be able to make a career work is if I am in charge, and I am seeing revanue based on how hard I work. Therefore I have chosen to try out blogging again. There are two things in life that I am passionate about above all others- food and magick. Now, It is a little difficult to combine the two subjects into one cohesive blog, therefore I am going to run two blogs, each with a focus on one of the subjects. Please enjoy the content that I will be following up with. The first for each is a quick introductory video with a few basic questions being answered. Make sure to link to this page, share it on facebook, and tell all of your friends who may be interested in it.

93 93/93!

When Meditation and Yoga Does Not Produce Expected Results

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